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The Forgotten Tribe: LinkedIn’s Quiet Originals

Because not everyone’s here to perform. Some are still here to build.

Foreword

Once upon a time – before hashtags became hymns and algorithms became altars – LinkedIn was a curious, hopeful thing. A space for professionals to gather, share, and learn; a modest agora of industry and insight.

Then came the noise.

What began as conversation became choreography. The humble update became an announcement. The comment became currency. The platform became a stage, and the performers multiplied.

But not everyone followed the script.

Some stayed behind – steady, unhurried, immune to the pull of vanity metrics. They kept writing about work, not wins; about lessons, not likes. They are the ones who remind us that the platform still has a pulse beneath its performance.

I’ve sat at both tables – the one chasing reach, and the one quietly grateful to still find real people in the noise. The ones who share job openings without fanfare, publish insights without slogans, and offer help without a hashtag. The OGs of LinkedIn, if you will – not “early adopters” in the technical sense, but in the human one.

And yes, even among the archetypes I once lampooned, I see fragments of sincerity trying to surface.

  • The CFBRs who genuinely boost others’ voices.
  • The job hunters who show us that resilience can coexist with vulnerability.
  • The coaches who guide without glamour.
  • The news-sharers who still believe that knowledge shared is knowledge multiplied.

So this isn’t a correction; it’s a continuation.
Not an apology for satire – an evolution of it.

A mirror turned the other way.

Welcome to the other half of LinkedIn – the half that still remembers why it exists.

 
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Posted by on 15/10/2025 in Uncategorized

 

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The Ultimate (and Unhinged) LinkedIn User Archetypes – Part IV [Bonus]

Archetypes That Refuse Classification

LinkedIn is a living, mutating ecosystem – and some species defy easy classification. They drift between roles, appear only in certain seasons, or exist purely to bend the rules of the game.

This is where we keep them. The outliers. The oddities. The ones you didn’t know existed until you saw them in your feed – and then couldn’t unsee.

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The Ultimate (and Unhinged) LinkedIn User Archetypes – Part III

The Survivors: The Ones Just Trying to Keep It Together

In Part III of my satire trilogy, we explore the weary, the burnt-out, and the gloriously disillusioned. These are the Survivors – and they’re still posting.

Introduction

You’ve seen the Performers. You’ve observed the Strategists. Now, meet the ones trudging through LinkedIn like it’s the final level of a very bureaucratic video game.

These are The Survivors – those for whom the platform isn’t a stage or a chessboard, but a last-ditch cry for connection, catharsis, or sheer survival.

They are not here to impress. They are here to cope.

Let’s hear their stories – because some of them hit a little too close to home.

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The Ultimate (and Unhinged) LinkedIn User Archetypes – Part II

Part II: The Strategists: The Art of the (Professional) Game

In Part II of my satirical series, we dive into LinkedIn’s backstage manipulators – the Passive Networkers, Lurkers, Career Pivoters, and more. These aren’t performers – they’re tacticians.

Introduction

Not everyone on LinkedIn wants to be front and centre. Some users don’t shine the spotlight – they bend it.

Welcome to Part II:

The Strategists – where ambition wears a hoodie, networking is a game of chess, and silence is tactical. These are the calculated players of the corporate colosseum, quietly shaping perception while pretending they’re not even playing.

No grandstanding. No showboating. Just algorithms, analytics, and a well-timed “Let’s connect.”

Let’s meet the quiet powerhouses – and a few chaos agents.

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The Ultimate (and Unhinged) LinkedIn User Archetypes – Part I

The Performers

LinkedIn as Stage – Where the Spotlight Is the Job

Explore the first part of my satirical deep-dive into LinkedIn personalities – from faux thought leaders to selfie-posting professionals. Are you one of The Performers?

Introduction

LinkedIn was supposed to be a professional networking platform. A digital CV with a side of connections. However, over the years, it has evolved – or mutated – into something far more theatrical.

Welcome to the stage, The Performers.

These are the high-energy, front-facing users who treat LinkedIn as their personal TED Talk arena, marketing funnel, or motivational megaphone. And hey – maybe you’ll recognise a bit of yourself in one of them. I certainly do.

Let’s begin the tour.

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Posted by on 11/08/2025 in Uncategorized

 

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Why Starbucks Doesn’t Get My Business

My reasons for avoiding Starbucks aren’t about snobbery or trend-following; they’re about a simple mismatch between what I seek in a coffee experience and what Starbucks offers.

  • Costly Caffeine: Let’s be honest, Starbucks is expensive. I can get a comparable (or even better) cup of coffee in plenty of places for significantly less.
  • The Great Seat Scramble: Finding a quiet corner for a brief respite is practically impossible. It often feels less like a cafe and more like a bustling transit hub.
  • The Permanent Residents: It seems every seat is occupied by someone treating Starbucks as their personal office. While I understand the need for a change of scenery, it creates an atmosphere that isn’t conducive to a quick coffee break.
  • The “Look at Me” Crowd: This ties into the previous point. The atmosphere is often dominated by loud conversations and a palpable sense of self-importance, making it difficult to relax and enjoy a simple beverage.
  • A Sense of Alienation: I simply don’t feel comfortable in the environment. The constant striving for a certain “image” feels forced and inauthentic.
  • False Aspirations: The idea that Starbucks represents some kind of aspirational lifestyle feels manufactured and, frankly, a bit delusional.
  • Imposter Syndrome Central: For some reason, I feel a strange sense of being out of place in Starbucks, a feeling I rarely experience elsewhere.
  • A World of Alternatives: India’s cafe scene is thriving! From established chains like Third Wave, Costa, and Tim Hortons to countless independent and artisanal cafes, there’s a wealth of options offering unique experiences and often superior quality.
  • Not My Cup of India: Ultimately, Starbucks doesn’t resonate with me or reflect the diverse and vibrant cafe culture that’s flourishing in India. It feels like a foreign import that hasn’t quite adapted to the local palate and preferences.
 
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Posted by on 19/12/2024 in Uncategorized

 

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