Archetypes That Refuse Classification
LinkedIn is a living, mutating ecosystem – and some species defy easy classification. They drift between roles, appear only in certain seasons, or exist purely to bend the rules of the game.
This is where we keep them. The outliers. The oddities. The ones you didn’t know existed until you saw them in your feed – and then couldn’t unsee.
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The Survivors: The Ones Just Trying to Keep It Together
In Part III of my satire trilogy, we explore the weary, the burnt-out, and the gloriously disillusioned. These are the Survivors – and they’re still posting.
Introduction
You’ve seen the Performers. You’ve observed the Strategists. Now, meet the ones trudging through LinkedIn like it’s the final level of a very bureaucratic video game.
These are The Survivors – those for whom the platform isn’t a stage or a chessboard, but a last-ditch cry for connection, catharsis, or sheer survival.
They are not here to impress. They are here to cope.
Let’s hear their stories – because some of them hit a little too close to home.
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Part II: The Strategists: The Art of the (Professional) Game
In Part II of my satirical series, we dive into LinkedIn’s backstage manipulators – the Passive Networkers, Lurkers, Career Pivoters, and more. These aren’t performers – they’re tacticians.
Introduction
Not everyone on LinkedIn wants to be front and centre. Some users don’t shine the spotlight – they bend it.
Welcome to Part II:
The Strategists – where ambition wears a hoodie, networking is a game of chess, and silence is tactical. These are the calculated players of the corporate colosseum, quietly shaping perception while pretending they’re not even playing.
No grandstanding. No showboating. Just algorithms, analytics, and a well-timed “Let’s connect.”
Let’s meet the quiet powerhouses – and a few chaos agents.
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